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Contents

Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11

1. Was Woman Created with an Inherently Different Nature Than Man’s?

Focus on Genesis 1–2. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17

2. Did God Establish a Hierarchy for Marriages After the Fall?

Focus on Genesis 3. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31

3. Does God Approve of Women Leading?

Focus on Judges 4–5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .45

4. Did Jesus View Women as Second-Class Citizens?

Focus on Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John . . . . . . . . . . . . .59

5. What Kind of Ministry Roles Did Women Fill in the Early Church?

Focus on the Book of Acts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .75

6. Are Men to Be Given Precedence in the Church?

Focus on 1 Corinthians 11:1–16. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .91

7. Are Spiritual Gifts Limited by Gender?

Focus on 1 Corinthians 12–14 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111

8. Should Women Be Allowed to Teach Men?

Focus on 1 Timothy 2:11–15 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131

9. Does God Expect Husbands to Be in Charge of Their Wives?

Focus on Ephesians 5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153

10. What Is the Scriptural Definition of a Godly Woman?

Focus on 1 Peter 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167

Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 185

Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .189

Bibliography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 191

 

Introduction

He cornered me in the snack bar after chapel. At the camp director’s request, I had just led the singing that evening for the new group of campers and counselors at Boys Camp. I had been initially reluctant to lead in front of a group of men, having been taught that the Bible restricted women in that way. But I was assured it would be fine, because, after all, the camp leadership was asking me to do it.

But the speaker didn’t see it that way. Beet red in the face, barely controlling his anger, he confronted me. Why would I ever think it appropriate to lead men? He then went on to lecture me on what Scripture teaches about women (like I hadn’t heard it my entire life) and had me reduced to tears by the time he was done.

I tried to explain why I was leading, but he was having none of it. That was it for my new assignment. The camp did without a competent song leader for the rest of the two weeks.

It was the 1970s. This was one of several incidents that made me question the many restrictions placed on women in most conservative denominations at that time. Please understand, I knew the Scriptures cited for those limitations almost as well as John 3:16. However, I was wired to be a leader, which caused me to feel as though I was constantly crashing into a glass ceiling. I often wondered why God would have made me the way he did, if I had to worry every time I used my spiritual gifts. I lived in constant fear of crossing the line between appropriate and inappropriate.

Much has changed culturally since my college days. Women now hold key leadership positions in business, in politics, and enjoy respect by society in general. Equality has been reached on many levels. But not in the church. It has been said that the church always arrives thirty years late and out of breath. But in this case, traditional roles have been dictated by Scripture, which is timeless in its principles and far above any cultural determination. Right? But does Scripture really teach limitations? Or is the traditional position in reality an interpretation of God’s Word, subject to human error or misunderstanding?

I had to wonder about that possibility in my early years, because every group drew their lines in the sand in different places. In some churches (like mine), women wore head coverings and kept silent. They couldn’t speak in a church business meeting or serve on a committee with men. In other churches, women could pray out loud or give their testimony, but not preach. Of course, if you were a missionary, all bets were off. Many women in the field spent their lives teaching men and women alike, since there was no man to lead at their location.

Then there was the seeming inconsistency of God himself. If his will was for women never to lead men, why would he choose, for example, Deborah to be judge over Israel? Why would he use Priscilla to teach the great preacher Apollos, patiently correcting his misunderstandings and leading him to truth? Why did Jesus make Mary Magdalene the first witness to his resurrection, when a woman’s testimony wasn’t even admissible in a Jewish court? In view of all these

examples, wasn’t God violating his own rules?

There were also discrepancies in the application of the “rules.” In my early adult years, I noticed that sometimes women were allowed to “teach” men. No one seemed concerned when men sang hymns full of theology written by Fanny Crosby or read books by Elisabeth Elliot or Catherine Marshall. A friend of mine attended a conservative Bible college where Elisabeth Elliot was invited to speak for a chapel. In order to make this acceptable, the authorities removed the podium and replaced it with a music stand.

It all seemed so arbitrary.

My own understanding of God’s Word on the matter has morphed slowly over the years. I married a wonderful man who loves and knows his Bible better than anyone I know. Over the years, Steve inspired me to study those limiting passages in earnest. What did they really mean? To my surprise, when I did, what I found in my research was very different from what I had always been taught.

Steve has always interpreted those passages differently than our denomination did, and from the beginning saw no need to limit his wife in any way. Contrary to what I believed about marriage on our wedding day, we have always functioned as a team, a true partnership rather than a hierarchy. As the Lord opened up ministry opportunities for me over the years, Steve has been my biggest cheerleader. Never once was he threatened by my strong personality. Never once did he remind me to “keep my place,” as I had previously been told. He has remained consistent in selflessly looking out for my best interests.

Interpretation is limited by an interpreter’s perspective. Anyone studying Scripture has factors that can keep them from a correct understanding. There are the basic beliefs that we have been taught from an early age, be they right or wrong. Those things become the foundation and filter for any additional knowledge we may gain. Our tightly held assumptions are the lens through which we see the world. Our experiences chime in as well. Past hurts or successes will influence how we receive information. In part, those things have made us into who we are today.

So, while Scripture is God’s Word, divinely inspired, accurate and powerful, human interpretation is not. Interpreters are always affected by their core beliefs. 

We used to joke in seminary: “I love it when Scripture backs me up.” But seriously, we were joking. When we approach Scripture with something to prove, we tend to see things that aren’t even there. We can take verses out of context in order to justify what we already believe. The chance of bad interpretation is exponentially larger when we’ve already decided what we think before studying the text.

So how do we avoid that pitfall? Keep ourselves from putting words into God’s mouth? Refrain from interjecting what we think into what the Bible says?

It’s not easy. I ran into that problem when writing my first book, Unexpected Love. Many of the stories I covered were already so familiar to me. This was especially true of Martha and Mary. I’d always heard: Martha was bad. She should not have been working in the kitchen with Jesus teaching in the living room. Mary was good. She sat at Jesus’s feet and hung on His every word. But something had

always bothered me about that interpretation. Hospitality was commanded in Mosaic law. Martha was merely obeying Scripture. So why then would Jesus criticize Martha for whipping up a dinner?

Before I began studying the Martha passage, I spent time in prayer, asking God to help me put aside what I’d always heard. As I dug in, I carefully noted each detail Luke provided. I researched the original Greek text. I noticed repeated phrases and important words. I spent a lot of time looking at the context of the story, and how it fit into the whole. My quest was to see, really see, what was there in black-and-white. 

Commentaries were a help in finding other things to research that could assist me in my understanding. So were books explaining first-century Jewish history, customs, and culture. I tried not to rely heavily on extrabiblical sources, though, since much of their content is also affected by human interpretation. As learned as those authors might be, they can still contradict each other. My primary dependence was on the Holy Spirit to teach and guide me as I searched for the meaning of the story.

In the end, the Lord did give me new insight into that puzzling interaction between Jesus and Martha. It came through systematic study of the text, searching for the principal point the author intended to make. For the most part, that careful process helped me put the noise of my biases and previous beliefs aside, so I could hear the Holy Spirit guide me to something fresh.

My passion for the subject of this book comes from a concern that we have gotten it wrong. I ache for future generations whose culture has moved on, giving them a freedom in secular society that the church will not allow. I have seen women told to stay in abusive marriages while their church leadership tiptoes around the abusers, refusing to hold them accountable. I have seen too many people leave Christian fellowship because of their disillusionment with how women are treated by the body. Worst of all—I have seen women walk away from God, because they believe he thinks of them as second-class citizens in his kingdom.

In this book, I want to take you on a journey through the passages that are traditionally thought to limit women. We are going to look, really look, at what is written there for us. We will (as much as is humanly possible) put aside what we have previously heard or thought and start each passage with a clean slate.

It doesn’t matter what I think. What matters is what the Word of God says. You have a personal responsibility to figure this out with the help of the Holy Spirit. This issue isn’t only about half the church. How we interpret these passages affects everyone. Because if we are limiting women unnecessarily, we are handicapping God’s church, keeping it from functioning in the way he designed it. We would be endeavoring to walk on only one leg, when we were given two.

Before we get started, I need to add one last thing. I will be sharing some of my past experiences as well as others’ that negatively portray brothers or sisters in Christ. Those stories are to present the issues and draw the reader in to what we are about to study. They stand as examples in how applying a bad interpretation can produce terrible results.

In no way do I mean to judge or disrespect those depicted. I believe with all my heart that their strong convictions and resulting actions came from their understanding of certain texts. They were trying to remain true to what they believed Scripture teaches. I get it. 

I am not angry for those incidents from my past. I am thankful for an upbringing that emphasized the importance of the Bible and taking personal responsibility to study it for myself. I was well-loved in my church and camp. A love for God and desire to obey him was modeled for me frequently. I love the people of God. As messy as that can get at times.

Now more than ever, we need to get to the bottom of these passages, because the debate rages on. The only way we can have peace about what to think is to study these passages for ourselves. I hope this book inspires you to look for the timeless principles in Scripture that are true for any culture, because the truth always sets us free. What does God have to say about women and marriage, their inherent value, and how they are to use their gifts? Get ready to dig in. You might well be surprised.