Nothing Taboo

In “Small Group Leaders’ Handbook”, one leader recalls her small group members expressing grave concerns about opening their group to a non-Christian. “Where will the ‘safe spaces’ be for us to talk about our problems and pray for our non-Christian friends?” one girl questioned.

The leader responded, “What couldn’t we discuss openly if this girl were to join us? What topics would be off-limits or taboo? How else do we share life together if not by talking about everything openly?”

I found this idea provoking. Thinking that there are times when we are “on” is a dangerous assumption. It invokes the idea of a performance.

When we think that our witness is some kind of performance, we are thinking like a Pharisee. Jesus called the Pharisees “hypocrites”. The literal translation for the original Greek word is “performer”, normally used in the first century for actors on the stage. In other words, the Pharisees were guilty of putting on an act: purporting a false identity.

It is interesting to me that Jesus didn’t get on a lot of people about their specific sins. But he came down hard and fast on this one. Why?

I think there are a couple of reasons. First, the Pharisees were the teachers of the Law. They were respected elders and had a great influence over the general public. But they had reduced a relationship with God to a list of do’s and don’ts. A BIG list. Paul recalls: “They did not pursue it by faith, but as though it were by works.” They were leading the masses down the wrong road. It was a heavy burden to bear, because their acceptance with God was all on them.

Second, in their quest for “holiness”, the Pharisees had become self-sufficient. They did not need to rely on God and his mercy. They were earning a place in heaven with their deeds. They had reduced God’s standards to man’s, thinking they could somehow match up to the holiness that is God’s alone. In reality, they were making an idol of their righteous acts.

In our desire to show God to the world, it is tempting to put what we believe to be our best foot forward. We rattle off platitudes and paste a smile on our faces even when we are drowning in overwhelming circumstances. We don’t want to give God a bad name.

But what if, instead of trying to put up a good front, we were honest in where we were? What if we took others along in our journey, trying to figure out how faith makes a difference in how we cope? Looking for ways God is revealing himself through the pain? Discovering the meaning in what seems to be senseless? Wouldn’t that be a more effective way to show a seeker how Christ can make a difference in their broken lives as well?

People don’t want a useless religion. They want something that will work for them. They are very aware of the messiness that is their life. Allowing them into the mess that is us will give them a vision for a God that will make a difference in them.

What do you think? Have you felt pressure to be “perfect” in front of non-believing friends? Or has sharing your struggle been an effective way to show Christ in you?