The Big C Odyssey Continues…
So the beast is gone. Or should I say the baby beast is gone.
Yesterday I had surgery to remove the cancerous cells (stage zero) from my breast. It was a bit of an adventure and had its uncomfortable moments, but all in all, a fairly benign (excuse the pun, please) experience. I was home by 4:00 PM. The professionals that participated in the whole process, from the first radiology tech to the discharge nurse, were super-great. They treated me like a real person, made me laugh, and did all they could to make the whole ordeal tolerable.
I thank God for Anne Arundel Medical Center. I can’t say enough good about it. It’s a good thing, because I will be seeing a lot more of it…I have to go back there for radiation treatments 5 days a week for 7 weeks. That will start with the new year.
So for the next few weeks I get a breather.
I promised to be on the lookout for what God had to teach me as I went through all this. What has amazed me is His peace.
No one wants to hear the C-Word, but when I did, I felt a calm go through me even as I finished up that first phone conversation. I felt the Lord surrounding me and assuring me of His goodness. No matter what would happen next.
This was huge for me. Because I wasn’t always that confident in His goodness.
Almost seven years ago, we had quite a shock with the birth of our sixth grandchild. He arrived 10 weeks early with terrible complications, including having to be resuscitated three times there on the table. He couldn’t breathe well, he was extremely swollen, and had the characteristics of Down Syndrome. They weren’t guaranteeing he would even make it through the night.
When my son Daniel came down to the waiting room, he had tears streaming down his face. It was such a terrible moment as he gave us the news. I could barely remain standing. I limped home to my husband and Daniel’s other two sons, who were staying with us for the birth.
When morning came, I was awakened by the cheery voices of Stephen and James, talking about what Grandma would make for breakfast (“Pancakes,” James predicted). Laying there in bed, I could only guess how all of this would affect their little lives. I didn’t think I could even get up, so great was my grief. I couldn’t even pray. All I could plead through my tears was one word: “Help.”
I felt the Lord respond with a simple question: “Am I good? You have to decide.”
Was He good? How could I see what was happening to this sweet little family, a family that was dedicated to Him, and think there was anything “good” about it? But then I thought about all He has revealed about Himself in the Bible, and I knew the answer to His question without one doubt. “Yes,” I told Him. “You are good.”
I got out of bed and went down to make pancakes.
Understanding and believing in the goodness of God has gotten me through many a hard spell since that time. (By the way, that little baby is now in first grade and doing splendidly!) So when I heard the diagnosis from this biopsy, my first thought was “I know You are good.” Sometimes His goodness is not as easy to see, because it does not match our expectations. In fact, sometimes our circumstances seem to be in direct opposition to anything good at all.
But the fact remains. He cannot be anything but good. It is who He is.
So there you go. Peace that surpasses understanding. When we believe the truth about God, the world stays right-side up even when what happens shakes us to the core. We can trust in something, Someone, higher than our circumstances. Higher than our unmet expectations.
Because He is good.
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13 NASB
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Amen…❤️
Love you, Marge!
God is higher than our unmet expectations. Amen! Christmastime can be difficult for me. I am alone. But I am going to focus on what I have… smiling… some private time with the Creator of the Universe! HA! Big Smile!
I prayed for you, this morning, friend. Christmas can be a lonely time. May the Lord’s presence be discernible to you this Christmas season. Love you!!
Thanks, Julie for some good encouragement this morning. Praying for an easy time through radiation treatments. God is good and loving and even though tribulation in this world is promised, his constant presence is too! Will pray for you as you walk through the radiation part of this. Much love to you from Lookout Mountain!
Thanks so much for that encouragement, Linda! And for your prayers. Merry Christmas!
Well I may or may not have shed a tear or two already today while reading this. What a blessing these words are to me. I am thanking God for giving you His peace that passes all understanding and for the blessing you will be everyday to those who don’t yet know what you know–GOD IS GOOD–as you go through the rest of your treatment. And I ask God to continually fill you and surround you with everything you need. God bless you, Julie!
Thanks so much, Lori. You are a blessing to me as well! I so appreciate all of the encouragement. You are awesome.
So glad it is gone. May you see more goodness through the many days of radiation.
Blessings, Arlene
And in the midst of your unexpected circumstances, you offer me encouragement as I walk through mine. Love you, friend. Praying for you.
Well I am so glad for that, Beth. Because your writing encourages me often, too.
Julie, this resonates with me to the core. As I learn to live from a wheelchair, I often hear God ask me the question “Am I Good? You have to decide”. What a blessing it is to believe with my whole being, that the answer is a resounding “YES”, regardless of my circumstances. I have your ministry to thank for that as you were the first person who reached my heart with that question, years ago while speaking at a woman’s retreat. It changed my life, and set the foundation for challenges to come. This past summer while riding home to Annapolis after receiving a disappointing prognosis from my Neurologists in Philadelphia, I heard God ask that question of me again. I rudely cut Him off before He finished, “YES Lord, you are only good”. And in that moment, I found my peace again. I posted on FB my report as many were praying and waiting for results. It simply said “Because I am loved by perfect love, I am content with being a medical mystery”.
Fran, Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. What a beautiful trust you have in God, especially in the face of such physical difficulty. It will make your love all that more precious to Him. It’s easy to trust when all is “well.” But when the rubber has met the road, there you are, trusting Him anyway. You are my hero. Thank you for sharing how God has used me in your life. That means more than I can say–so affirming. Like a pat on the back from the Lord Himself–telling me to keep going. He’s not finished with me yet. You gave me a special gift this evening.
Julie thanks for sharing. I am sorry for your pain but know God is using you and grateful for that. Love you,
Thanks, Charlotte! I’m not suffering like you did, but God is teaching me through it all the same. Merry Christmas!