Patience with People

Two weeks ago, we looked at one kind of patience, hypomone, which is the capacity to hold out or bear up in the face of difficult circumstances. Today we will look at a second biblical kind of patience. Macrothumia, often translated as patience or long-suffering, involves our response to people. The lexicon defines it as “being able to bear up under provocation” or “a slowness in avenging wrongs.” Makrothumia and mercy go hand in hand.

Perhaps we can best define makrothumia for what it is not. The lexicon suggests the antonym for makrothumia is judgment.

One of the best biblical examples of this kind of patience is found in Genesis. Joseph suffered hurt and betrayal—at the hands of his own family. Jealous of his special relationship with their father, his brothers plotted his murder and ultimately sold him into slavery. Joseph endured thirteen years of bondage in a foreign land, first in servitude and then in prison. Finally God provided a way out. And when Joseph eventually met up with his brothers again, he was now second in command of the Egyptian Empire.

Joseph was in an excellent position to administer judgment for their horrendous act. No one would have blamed him, not even the brothers themselves, who had lived with the terrible guilt all those years. Yet Joseph never did execute justice, never sought retribution, and never even demanded an apology. The brothers assumed it was in deference to their father, who was still alive.

So when the father finally died, they knew the gig was up. Joseph would finally give them what they deserved.

But Joseph surprised them all. He told them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in God’s place? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” His words are characterized in Genesis 50:21 as “comforting and kind.”

Whoa. He comforted them? He clearly understood how malicious their intentions were those many years ago: “You meant it for evil…” So how could Joseph choose to overlook such grievous sin? Had the years maybe softened the pain of their betrayal? Not according to Genesis, which notes several times when Joseph could not contain his emotions while speaking with his brothers. Every recollection was a fresh wound to his heart.

We’ve all been there, at least in some regard. Someone has hurt or offended us. We try to forgive, try to move on. But the pain they inflicted continues to haunt us. Is God calling us to do the impossible?

Our clue can be found in the words Joseph spoke to his brothers at their reunion. He reassured them, “Do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here… it was not you who sent me here, but God.” Joseph knew God was sovereign and had plans for His people (Genesis 15:13-14). He willingly submitted himself to be used in the fulfillment of the purposes of God.

Joseph understood reality: in relation to his life, his brothers were merely tools in God’s hands. They could not have done anything that God would not allow. There was a purpose in the past thirteen years.

In short, Joseph trusted in the goodness and the power of His God.

“Vengeance is mine,” says the Lord. We are not called to be jury or judge. Only God is qualified to sit in that seat. We are as guilty as the next, limited in our capacity to understand the whole truth, possessing a tainted perspective at best. In light of our shortcomings, we need to leave the job of judge to the One who will administer justice with mercy.

So how then must we respond to those who try our souls? We must look beyond their hurtful or irritating ways. We need to see them as God sees us: flawed and in need of mercy. And in view of the mercy we have been given, we must in turn offer mercy to others. A synonym of patience is long-suffering. It’s an appropriate term—for it is often an ordeal putting up with the faults of others. But our efforts to do so will be a reflection of the One who lives within us—and will result in our resembling Him just a bit more: the ultimately patient Jesus Christ.